Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
