Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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