Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

(614): View more from Ohio

Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

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(765): View more from Indiana

just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.

Fav 17 9342 1220
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(519): View more from Ontario

someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think you may want to look into that...

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(802): View more from Vermont

Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

Fav 7 3276 906
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(407): View more from Florida

For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

Fav 18 719 1673
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(607): View more from New York

I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

Fav 6 869 1783
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(817): View more from Texas

We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden

Fav 11 2272 946
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(503): View more from Oregon

Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for

Fav 1 267 166
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.

Fav 0 45 16
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