Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
