I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
