Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize