hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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