i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
