When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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