Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
