ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
