I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
