I don't usually arrange sex via text message
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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