Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
