So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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