Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
