He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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