five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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