what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize