I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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