I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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