i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
