Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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