you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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