One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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