your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
