just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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