Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
