I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
