he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
