I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
