She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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