have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The uberlube is also flammable
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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