Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
