Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
