You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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