Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
