I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize