I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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