Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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