she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
