She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
