I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize