Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
