Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize