He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
