It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
