Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
