put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
