i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
