maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
