I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize