After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
