make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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