And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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