That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
