last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
