I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
