Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize