After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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