This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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