Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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