Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So drunk its hurt
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
