I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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