How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
