i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
