i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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