you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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