I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
