matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
