I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
