I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
