i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Randomize
