summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
