I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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