so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize