yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize