i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
