I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
