is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We need to get me chipped asap
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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