Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
