I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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