You're completely useless in the revolution.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
